In Conversation: LocalHood volunteer, Priscilla chats with Viv, a HK based Mindful Intimacy Coach
Growing up in a household from Indian descent in a Western country, consciously or unconsciously, you deal with cultural differences early on in life. When such differences are around you from the moment you are born, you view those differences as a normality; something that is not strange to you. However, as I grew older and moved countries some of the cultural differences became more apparent to me and intrigued me in a way. Why do they exist? Where do those difference come from? Are people aware they exist? If so, are they willing to learn from the differences? And how to deal with those difference in a way that serves them?
I explored many cultural differences but, in this article, I want to explore the difference in expressing and embracing sexuality.
I feel that being raised in a Western country, the topic of expressing and embracing sexuality is rather encouraged than frowned upon, the latter is the impression I get in (most) Asian countries. It is not something people speak openly about. I remember the days where kissing scenes were normal in Western movies and non-existent in Indian / Asian movies but nowadays I see a shift happening. So, I was curious to understand if this has led to a shift where people are more open to speak and learn about their sexuality and the sexuality of their partner.
I was happily surprised to meet Viv Kan in Hong Kong. Viv grew up in Canada and is now based between Hong Kong and Thailand. Viv introduced herself to me as a Mindfulness and Mindful Intimacy Coach. Whilst this excited me, it also raised a lot of questions that I had to ask her about.
Priscilla Piergoelam (PP): Wat is a Mindfulness and Mindful Intimacy Coach?
Viv Kan (VK): I am a Mindful Intimacy Coach in the bedroom and a Mindfulness Coach in the workplace. I help busy people elevate their potential in their work, personal, and intimate lives by staying fully present. My approach combines mindfulness practices, neo-Tantric rituals, and mindful communication to support couples and individuals on their journey of self-discovery.
Pic source: Stock images
PP: How did the Mindful Intimacy topic come up?
VK: When I started Mindfulness Coaching in the workplace, I realized much of our stress from home (our romantic relationships, family dynamic, etc.) has a huge impact on how we perform at work, and vice-versa. Yet nobody talks about it. So, I started talking about how our stress in both realms are connected and making it relatable and easy for people to do something about it.
PP: How is sexuality viewed in the Asian community?
VK: I think talking about sexuality in all communities is still taboo to some extent. Nobody teaches us about intimacy growing up. And if we're lucky, we had sex education during school, but they NEVER teach us about pleasure or how to embrace sexuality. So, it's no wonder people are so uncomfortable talking about sexuality. Yet it has literally created life for every one of us on this planet. And so many people come to me because they are not sexually satisfied in their relationships, which becomes detrimental to our mental, emotional, and physical health. So, we NEED to talk about it more.
PP: Have you seen a shift in Asian community’s perception towards sexuality?
VK: Absolutely. I see a slow but progressive shift. I did a TEDx talk a couple of years ago called, "The Sex Organs Nobody Talks About," and the response was incredible. I had individuals and large corporations coming up to me and saying that my talk was so relatable.
Pic source: Stock images
PP: If someone reading this article is interested to learn more about their own sexuality or curious about others sexuality, how would you advise to approach the topic? Being it a friend, a family member, or a partner?
VK: First, ask yourself your intention for wanting to learn more. Then do your research by listening to podcasts, reading articles, and getting in touch with professionals who are experts on this topic. Then once you've gathered more information, you can start by bringing up the topic by saying, for example, "I was listening to this podcast/article/post about the various female orgasms, and it was fascinating..." When you have a prompt and the other party is curious, it's easier to start a healthy conversation around sexuality.
PP: What are your top tips in improving sexuality with your partner?
VK:
- Help them feel safe, seen and heard.
· Listen without interrupting.
· Be present.
· Have a consistent mindfulness practice.
· Exercise every day.
· Accept your body. If you don't like your body, do something about it starting today.
· Talk about intimacy normally and regularly, like you're talking about the weather.
- Sleep.
- Time in Nature.
I was happy to learn from Viv that the Asian community in Hong Kong is showing an interested to learn about this topic and explore their sexuality and pleasures. If you want to learn more about your sexuality and pleasures or try out a session, Viv offers support to individuals and couples on the topic of embracing and exploring your sexuality.
You can find her details here:
You can find her details here:
Instagram: instagram.com/mindfulintimacy/
Email: mindfulinitimacy@vivkan.com
Website: mindfulintimacy.co